The 12 Stages of Sunday Brunching
(as told by a self-declared brunch aficionado)
1) As the sun shines through your window, disturbing your peaceful weekend slumber, you open your eyes and know that it is TOO early to be awake
2) But then a thought pops into your head and everything changes. You realize that it’s not just any morning, but that it’s Sunday morning which can only mean one thing: BRUNCH.
3) You spring yourself out of bed and wake up your housemates. Whether they like it or not – it’s in the name of brunch.
4) And put on your best outfit because did brunch really happen if it wasn’t documented on social media?
5) You all hop in your ride and start driving, because despite the distance, nothing can separate you from your breakfast-lunch combo.
6) As you arrive to the restaurant, you remember one horrifying detail: you forgot to make reservations. The hostess tells you that there’s a 45-minute wait and suddenly your world begins to crumble around you.
7) But after your minor breakdown you realize that nothing, not even 15 groups ahead of you on the waitlist, are going to get in the way of you and your brunch.
8) As you hear your name called out, you finally get seated at your table, and at this point you can barely contain your excitement.
9) You see food coming towards your table and you’re so ready to indulge. But the server sets it down for the table next to you and you feel BETRAYED.
10) Then suddenly, out of the kitchen, walks your waiter carrying a platter of assorted breakfast foods and you know that this is it, the glorious moment you’ve been waiting for.
11) You take that first, delectable bite and you instantly feel reinvigorated with the power of brunch flowing through your veins. And in those next 20 minutes, everything is right in the world.
12) After you’ve engorged yourself with savory goodness, you’re on cloud 9 because nothing can stop you post-brunch.
And now that you’re motivated and ready to take on the week, here are some upcoming events for all you OUABrunchers.
Tomorrow, Monday, October 12th, OUABlast into space with twin astronaut Mark Kelly – tickets available now! This out of this world event will take place at 7:30 pm in the Archie Griffin Ballroom.
Join us on Wednesday, October 14th, for two free showings of Ted 2 during this week’s flicks for free series. Free popcorn and drinks in the US Bank Conference Theatre at 6:00 pm and 8:30 pm!
Tickets are now available to see SNL’s very own Aidy Bryant and Pete Davidson on Monday, October 19th beginning at 8 PM in the Archie Griffin Grand Ballroom. These comedians will be performing stand-up routines that you won’t want to miss!
And remember one thing y’all: Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Good Brunch
Written By: Brian Jaros